A Date with Yourself

Jayanti Krishnan

Way back in 2010, when I used to travel a lot to Europe for work, I had this colleague of mine, who used to take solo trips and go around Europe during weekends. She must have visited literally the entire Europe – alone. At that time, naïve that I was, I used to wonder how can she enjoy her own company? I mean, doesn’t she need a partner or a friend to travel with?

I am a lot wiser now, and can appreciate that it is important to take such solo trips and enjoy our own company.

If you cannot enjoy your company, how can you expect others to?

So, one of the ways you can start loving yourself more is by treating yourself as an individual and setting up dates to meet yourself!

I am definitely not advocating that you stop dating other people or avoid hanging out with friends/ families. I am just saying that there are times when self-dates are the way to go. These are the times when you discover yourself inside out. After all, your happiness should not and cannot depend on others.

In fact, after these trips you come out as a different person (in a good way of course!). You become a lot happier, more self-aware, more independent and more confident.

Here are some quick ideas that, I am sure, will help some of us in our self discovering journey, and to have some fun along the way!

Take yourself on solo dates

Take yourself out on solo dates. Go to places you love and do things you enjoy. Explore new things that you had wanted to do for long such as hiking, watching a movie, taking a stroll down the best street of your city, or simply relishing some hot coffee along with crispy crackers in the local bookstore café. The point is you get time out for you and really unwind. So, get out there and enjoy life on your own terms. And you are sure to see a ‘confident you’ in the days that follow!

Indulge in self-care

This one has to be my favourite. Self-care increases self-love. And if we wait for a partner or a friend to do all those little things we love, we could end up waiting forever. Brainstorm a list of little things that you think you would enjoy like a spa treatment, going for a meditation retreat, shopping, pursuing a hobby etc. You do not have to do something every day, but try to do something at least once a week. And you are sure to see an ‘independent you’ in the days that follow!

Know yourself inside out

When you start dating someone, you have tons of questions like where they come from,  who they are, their likes and dislikes etc. You want to get to know them in detail. Shouldn’t you get to know yourself just as well as you might know others? The better you know yourself, the better your responses will be to all the situations. You’ll know more about what you do and don’t want, and more about what kind of person you are. The best way to do that is through meditation.

Try journaling your observations and thoughts that come when you meditate. This will actually resolve any unresolved problems you may have. Many of my colleagues say they enjoy driving while listening to music. They even say that’s the time they get answers to many of their problems. So any activity which you really enjoy doing and which allows you to think at the same time is as good as meditating. And you are sure to see an ‘aware you’ in the days that follow!

Commit to yourself

How committed are you to yourself and your happiness? You need to commit to yourself above and beyond how you might commit to any partner. Commit to loving yourself, believing in yourself, knowing yourself, and wanting the best for yourself. Commit to leaving behind anything that doesn’t feel right, isn’t in your best interest, or that is discouraging. Commit to being your own best friend, soulmate, and life partner. And you will see a ‘happier you’, which is what you deserve!

*All images used in this article are either Eyra’s own design or widely and freely available on the internet.*

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